Decolonizing Research.
I started the new year off in good spirits. A couple of days into the first week of the year I received a response from a literary agent saying she wanted to read my book proposal. Now, this isn’t a super common occurrence or so I’ve heard from other authors. As an author potentially getting representation from a literary agent you normally send a query letter that basically states what your book is about and if they’d like to know more about the project they can read your lengthy book proposal.
It can take months to hear back from an agent just to hear yes or no. I was exceptionally surprised to hear back after 2 weeks from sending my query letter. I definitely was feeling all the emotions. I was happy that someone liked my idea but was also terrified that this was happening even faster than I had anticipated. In order to stop freaking out, I decided to save my sanity by starting the real deep research that this cookbook requires. I created a game plan on how to tackle this subject matter. For those just tuning in, I’m writing a cookbook about cuisine in Latin America. I can’t really divulge more than that because A) the book has yet to get representation from an agent or publisher and B) the book is still in the midst of getting put together/written.
I’ve previously written in my Substack newsletter about my pre-research phase. I was trying to collect cookbooks on Latin American cuisine by actual Latinx authors but found it increasingly difficult. I found some, but most were on Mexican cookery (which is delicious AF!!!), but not exactly what I was looking for. Some were written by actual Latinx people and some were written decades ago by White people who explained the food through colonized exoticism. One thing I vowed to do was create a book that is equitable in its representation of Latin America as a whole and to exemplify the value of diverse storytelling within the culinary world. I know that’s a big ass vow, but I think I can do it if I’m determined enough.
This week as I delved into my research I noticed that writing my notes was really difficult. I would write something down then question what I was writing. I was questioning if my notes were being written in a colonized context or tone. I am a proud woman of color trying to gather facts and stories about other people of color. I don’t want to be dismissive or judgemental in any shape or form towards the subjects I’m discussing. For example, I was writing notes on the historically unknown figure Yanga. Yanga was a formerly enslaved person who ran away with other enslaved people and started the first settlement of African descent people in Mexico and in all of the Americas (yes, there are Black people in Mexico!). When I wrote my notes I wrote “Gaspar Yanga was born in 1545 in West Africa as a Prince of the royal Gabon lineage”. Gaspar is not his name. Gaspar is the name that the colonizers gave him. As a person whose story has been hidden and tucked away from history books, I felt like I was doing Yanga such a disservice by referring to him by his enslaved name.
Even if the notes are just being read by me I felt like I was falling victim to years of colonized conditioning when it comes to the history of BIPOC. In school, we are taught that Columbus was a good guy and that all the Indigenous peoples died from not having strong enough immune systems to combat European diseases. We barely scratched the surface on how shit truly was. I realized in just one day of research how f-ed up history really is written. I noticed that as much as I have been decolonizing myself for the last couple of years I still have so much more to go.
Language is such a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil in some cases. As someone who is trying to use it for good even, I have to tread lightly. I want this book to be so many things for so many people but before it is I have to check myself. Am I presenting facts and stories the way that they should be? Am I using colonized words and phrases to describe things that may seem foreign? Am I being respectful of things that I don’t fully understand? I must remind myself that even though I am an Afro-Latin woman writing a cookbook on Latin America I too can continue the legacy of colonialism if I’m not too careful.